i nver had a chance........

aku sedih... skrang aku dalam msalah yg berat.. my family.. my friends.. my relations.. hm.. all ruins... i cant control it all.. aq skrang ilang fokus dlm blajar.. byk termenung sensorang.. x reti bahagi mase.. i almost spent my all my tyme at mosque.. try to calm my self.. whats wrong with me just now.. about family~ why.. mama n papa keep fighting day by day... papa now in a cricital situations.. papa sakit~ :( kne buatan org... sob~ sob~ papa kate dy x leh g keje.. x leh mkn. xleh minum.. just bleh solat je.. papa x cbe nak cte kat mama langsong.. tp papa keep goin to work.. sampai mama marah.. kakak aku plak wat hal.. kluar umah x balik2.. adik pmpn bwah aku tu plak.. asyik dok menangis.. kesian dy.. aku pham.. dy sedih tgk fmily yg kucar kacir ni.. mama kne pegi keje... adk bradik aq kat uma xde sape nak antar g skolah.. smpai adik aq yg bgsu tu kne g skolah jln kaki.. blik ptg.. adk pmpn aq pn same.. risaw kslamtan dyorg sme.. and aq plak asyik dok wat mslah.. sbnarnye.. aq dah dkat 8 mngu dah x balik nie.. ari mama call... mama ckap direct.. "xyah balik umah laah! adik ko dah la nak pekse.. mama nak g keje.. papa outstation~ ko xyah balik.. just mkan je duit yg mama antar.. adk2 ko x yah jage xpe.." :( and skunk masuk mnguu ke 9.. aku x taw lah camner.. aq tepon mama.. mama x jwab.. aq kne buang dari uma kew..?? sob~ sob~ ntah lah.. aritu aq call nina(adik no1 which is rapat ngan aq).. aq tepon then dy angkat.. Alhamdulillah.. aq tanye.. mama mane.. dy jwb mama ade.. tgah dok tension.. pastuh nina suh aq balik.. nina merayu.. pastu tnye sal papa.. nina jwb.. papa kat ospital.. uh.. tp nina ckap bek ko jgn g tgk.. sbb mmg x dapt tgk wat smntare waktu nie.. hm.. wat happen to my precious family huh~!!! Astaghfirullahhalazzim... isk~ isk~ but anyway.. for th 9th week im at the ostel.. im gonna be brave and face my famil this week.. and setle it all.. i must.. i had to.. um~ n skunk nie.. dingin sikit ngan gf aq.. dy mrah aq sgt.. sbb x msg dy.. dy kte aq dah len.. x mcm dulu.. "ouh dear~ i which i could tell you the truth, but the situation is difrent" aq mmg x pandai jage ati syg aq.. sory again about my bad behaviour.. tp aq hnye dapat luah kat blog nie je.. sbb xde follower... so its free for to write something that runnig in my mind and heart.. aq syg dy sgt2... aq x nak lpaskan dy.. tp tyme dy mention sal kalu rase dy ni annoying sgt.. just breakup.. uh~!? mmg aku terkejut dy ckap cam tuh~ maybe sbb dy dah sampai limit dy.. aq ni teruk betul jadi bf yg x gne.. heee~ aq trauma ah kalu sal breakup2 nie.. lagi dlm situasi family tgah berpecah belah nie.. aq buntu.. tp aq akan pastikan.. keluarge bahagia yg aq slalu doa pada tuhan akan ku usehe sampai tuhan makbulkan.. ouh.. i miss that moment.. when im with mama n papa were laughing becos of joke that i told.. i miss he moment of im punching with my along.. i love the moment i story-ing to my sis about my history.. i miss the moment we holiday at grand ma house.. i miss you all smiling.. for this second.. i feel like im gonna die without you all.. :( maybe my tyme has come.. maybe my "rezeki" not coming yet.. and i will always pray from Allah.. i'll waitin that patiently~Aminn~

- farewell my family.. my friends.. my love~