Sweet moments starting runs away~

Why did this bad time choose me..
Why do i live for..
When i imagine about the future.. tears start to drop..
if i were flower, then i'd be a bud..
i should treasure the beginning of my youth without any regrets..
Mother, deep inside my heart, i have a mother who always believes in me..
from now onwards as well, please continue to look after me..
i'm sorry to have troubled you so much..
Why did this bad time choose me..?
i cannot carry it, if it's just for the word "fate"..
i want to build a time machine and revisit the past..
if it weren't for this disease, i might be happy in love..
i want to cling to someone's arm so badly..
in the blue sky the white clouds float around..
and its really pretty to look at..
i really don't want to say things such as " i want to go back to how things were before".
i recognise how i am right now, and i will continue to live on..