SHe is GedixxxXxXx girl

please dun keep me as a stranger.oh God~ give me the way. the true way. i never regret for what ive done and now why? why i always being regret and ashamed for myself. once before. late.. yah! its a lil bit too late for me.. 

the time. for da first time . i enter the class and i saw so many new student dat i dun know. but my eyes just attracted to someone. and dat is a girl. i dun know why. the people often said. this is first-love-views. but i think. naa.. she even better than me. attractfull. full of suprised. and everyday will make me want to wait for her and see what she gonna do this day. what she wearing this day. and dat time her hijjab is covering her face a little. so i keep searchin for the opportunity to see her really face. why are u hiding..

from dat first class of mine. in my mind keep sayin dat. its imposible for me. she even not looked at me. and i feelin dat she maybe already hav a bF and i dun want to disturb their relationship. and my daily life goes and goes like always and like usually. one day, i went to Intro to IT class and there a piece of paper pass by my friend to me and the paper is for askin for the email, myspace, yahoo and others. so i decided to copy it all first and it took so long.. hehe.. but btw. dats is because all of my female classmate already wrote theirs. so it would be likely to me. 

then back from the class. i straight back to my room and then absolutely online. then i started to open all the email that i copy than started add one by one. and at last i found this rare-girl in the class and her profile pic was wearing a striped black-green sweater and she damned so cute dat time cos she glowing her cheek in and out. i stared at the photo about 5 min. not dat long bcause i scared my friend will entered and my room and then kantoi.. :p it was so fun staring at the pic dat time.. adorable. i dun know if this will make out but for suddenly. my friend request was been approved. i was so happy then she also komen at my pic.. i was happy like revived from death . and i started to chat with her all day.

after that we continue ym-ing. back there i was so upset because i think you and faiz was really onto something. because faiz said he always texting you. ym0ing with you. and why i feels somethin in me dat some kind of jealous or maybe upset. but deep in my heart i already said it is imposible for a cute girl will like me. then i just. i just and i just keep my feelin for myself and not letting everybody know about it. when i attend to class. i will see her from behind . always. and sometimes i lost my intention in the class. huh! im ma really lost when i saw you. everything i do in the class. i hoped i will gain ur attention at me. and one of the picture i like is when she wearing a shawl , a black shawl attends to en azrul class doing the cable wire thing.. i cant keep removing my eyes from you. you were attractfull enough.

day by day, i started to msg her at Myspace like usually and i said to her "weh.. sombong ah kau.. jumpe x tegur pon >.<" then she reply "eh.. mane ade.. ko ah kne tegur dulu.. mane boleh pmpn tegur laki.. malu lah.."  then i suddenly realize.. then one day after class.. at the cafe.. "weh! dak gedixxx!" ..."eh.. ko lah gedixx" then we smiled for each others. when i back to my room. i will online and wait for u to online too.. at the night before i sleep. why i always thinkin about you. "eh.. tadi aq tegur ko.. ko layan eh.. ingat x nak layan" "well.. see.. aku dah ckap.. laki kne tegur dulu.. ;-)"

the next day.. we both keep ym-ing with the da "gedixx" issue and at last i will stoped and giveup. before we going bad. i keep confusing when she willing to WC with me rather than any of my friend. but still i didnt realised that u giving more for me. then one day. while im at the safwan room. one msg with BOF ringtone ringing comin from my phone. "... syahir.. i ske lah kat syahir" then i reply "haha.. jgn lah men2.. kalu camtu syahir pon ske jgak kat u" then i dun get her reply msg then.

then another day.. while im ym-ing. come another msg. "syahir x ckap lagi keputusan syahir." then i replied "uh? keputusan ape? " "alah yg psal smlm tuh" "u sirius ke nie??" "yelah.. engat org men2 ke.." "hihi~ kalu camtu x mo lah, sebab.. biar syahir yg mintak, x gentle ah---- um~ you, syahir ske lah kat u.. and i think i started loving you, can you be my girlfriend " then she replied "yes!!!" .. i then we startin to know each other so very deeply. and until now i realize how she adore me so much and i adore her so much. and we both laugh with full of gratefullness. i still remembered dat time u said dat "now ure mind"

i was so glad and happy cause i realize a girl dat i considered impossible to love me now is my gF. until then i appreciate she so much and never ever leave her and go to another girl. as for me. if i destined to met more beautifull woman than her. my heart would said. i already hav a girl that is beautifull than everyone in this world. day by day. my heart more falling to her.. after knowing she has a beautifull heart too.. she is a loving person.. onestly. all her act was really give a joy in my life. in my heart "i will take care of you no matter what happen.." i really like to achieved and give what u like. cause it will make you happy. i change my number to maxis. and it is before the upcomin date of your birthday. and it also for the sake of us. we cant keep calling at the night.

and now.. all dat.. gone.. and it is because of me.. yes.. because of me. i dont know why.. i changed so much from dat awfull times.. and now.. i back to be my self again. and i ready for all thing gonna happen. i really missed yo so much.. i miss those word "ILYSFDM" when are my phone gonna started ringing again.. i missed u taking care of me.. mad of me because i didnt take my medicine.. i miss those hand too. when are we gonna balik kampung with ktm together again. there i was so happy cause i could protect you even for a while. i miss you telling me the price and the price after discount of ur wedgie and then you will said "berbaloi kan". and i keep support you at the thing will make u happy. when i see dat roasted doll. i will remmbered you. ur face. ur silly smile. ur cute face. ur voice, ur sulkin at me. and i like to coax you with all my gut. when i heared the cascada song. my heart feels like dropping down. a moment from before.. i hurt you so much. i also make you cried.. shit! that is the biggest fault of mine.. im really sorry.. and im sincerely sorry.

somethin dat i want to know why i jelous like a stupid man from before.. and its of course because i afraid to lost you. cause ure really attractive person. and i know dat you never fall for them cause u already had me. and yet.. just me dat keep thinkin the stupid jealous ever. people always said dat, if we are jealous mean we are loved that person so much and afraid to lost her. but yet.. for me. i think i shud be jealous at back there.. cause i already make a promse dat will believed you and thrusted you 100%. oh. no. 120%.. yes.. dats the deal and yet.m the one forget a bout the deal.. huh! and really i do apologize. even its a lil bit too late.

and now. seems to be like u living more happily. and i wish i dun want to disturb u with my pain at the back. maybe im gonna be in  pain a lot.. but if this called as a punishment.. i will sincerely accept it with my opened heart. as long as i saw ur face smiling again.

i hope the person didint read this.. cause i dont want the person remmber this pain again. im really sorry.. my heart still not lacking of love from yours.

its hard to believed.. im afraid.. yeah.. very afraid.. i think im gonna prepare myself first.. i dun want it to be a nightmare for me again.. btw, its all because of my fault.. yeah.. i truly admit it.. im bad, im cruel, im not seem to be what u want... im also jual-ikan.. but as for me.. what the main thing is always keep flyin-like-bird in my imagination is what you need.. and im always struggling bout that.. no sweat.. ;')

btw.. my day flowing like always but today im on a preparation for BEKWAH my opposite neighbour house.. since Kak Lin (neighbour name) never do this BEKWAH thing.. she said she want to do it rite now.. since (bape byk since daa-__-) her family is stable rite now.. which mean, her Husband now workin as a head in the company.. and for her himself.. she now working as a landscape Manager.. so her family rite now is in a good condition me could say.. hehe..

she now just got a twin child which is Boy and Girl.. (the boy came out first ;-) ) and.. seem like she want to make this BEkWah so much.. she decorrated her house so much.. fuhh! kalah umah aku .bhahaha! .mcm umah aku cantik sgt.. so.. after all, earlier, i said i want to keep myself busy.. so here come.. busy enough like hell.. letih wooo~

p/s 1 : sorry mommy.. boy lari kejap pergi update blogsh! hehe..
p/s 2 : BEKWAH mean kenduri.. a translation from kamus KElantan siri ke 2.. ;)

still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much..still, missing she so very badly much.. i<3u