word come from heaven

dah jauh aku lari.. mngapa aku x lihat blkng kembali.. mngapa aku leka dgn sume ni.. sungguh zalim perasaan ini jika dikatakan menipu dalam perasaan.. what been said by her is totally right and what i cant even know about this mistake?? but what is gone let it be.. focusing what gonna happen next if ur dunt realise earlier.. thank.. tenkiu very much.. you were like 2nd mother to me.. i never had an adviced like that before.. and this i promised you.. i will simply do my best and never let you down again.. i know you have faith in me.. the next time we meet.. i will be granted a smile at your face.. onestly.. believe me.. i keep ur word and faith in my heart forever.. and thanx for give me strength again.. tenkiu very much.. if the spirit of mine is just 100% now it becoming more from before..

"Kite ni anak laki.. tak boleh nak nak bg harapan yg tinggi pada anak dara orang.. ingat tu~ "

thanx God for giving me another chances ='(

Quotes i 've dreaming to said it to you..

" Love is always patient and kind

it is never jealous.

love is never boastful or conceited.

it is never rude or selfish.

it does not take offense and is not resentful.

it takes no pleasure on other people's sins but delights in the truth.

it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes. "

Please Reach Me

its now or never..
sometimes this feeling will hurt you deeply too much without realise of what of the consequences..
but for me.. i leave all that behind and started to concentrate on what i aiming for.. no more loitering.. no more sosialising.. live ur happy live like always and busy like always you do..

for the first time.. i fell for this girl.. which is the same age of me.. but different class.. i think i got one feeling that i promised to myself that would never betrayed my feeling and also her's feelin as well.. i keep on struggling.. focusing on she.. and just she.. this is no ordinary feelin but it is a miracle cos it would ever happened to me.. and yet the girl self running away with other guy.. yah.. of course.. its totally my fault.. i really careless.. believed me. i can't forget what we have been trough until right now..

for the second girl, i deeply hurt you so much.. yes i know it.. i left you with out sayin a single word.. im very sellfish.. yet you were kind enough for me.. and i cant accepted it.. im really2 sorrry.. you were such a kind girl.. its hard to believed you re okay and doing fine when the day i left you without sayin anyting.. and again im sorry.. maybe now its my punishment.. please forgive me.. yes.. i dont know what are those feelin of girl. but thrust me.. i always can feel those hurt feelin from yours..

last and forever.. i dont know what to say.. but the truth is.. when this feelin of mind and my heart come to open again to another girl.. maybe this is just my feelin.. but its not ! its really happen.. all day night this evil feelin always disturbing my peace.. for what ? for remembering you every second of time.. When im sick, The doctor said i should live life normally, as best as i could. i didn't want anybody to be weird around me. and this faith come to me. she has faith in me. she makes me want to be different. Better. i was gatting along fine, i accepted it.. my life.. and then you happened !! i do not need a reason to be angry with God. am i scared to death ? no. but im scares of not being with you.. you know what i figured out ? Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than i had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like, you were sent to me because im sick. to help through all this. and yet.. you're my angel.

A Man Boy - form 3

"when youre in the middle of something and havin a problems of choosing ways.. close youre eyes and hear your heart voice"

Registration Day
kalu x silap dalam tahun 2006 aq masuk alam persekolahan baru for tingkatan 4..

syapik Gai : fulamak.. cantik baju kuning ko.. (baju kuning = baju pngawas)
syahir : uh?! hehe.. alah ko.. sepak kang.. ko punye pon cantik jgak.. tapi kne pkai kasut kulit itam ke.. siyesly??
syapik gai : haih~ mestilah.. kan dah termaktub dalam surat perlantikan hari tuh.. ko x bace betul2 ke..
syahir : hm~ ye lah tuh.. bulan depan lah jawabnye aq beli.. :p

mlm tuh macam biase.. after mkn mlm kat dewan makan.. outfit biase aku mcm biase lah.. pekene baju melayu ngan kain.. sebb tu compulsory for aspura.. time tu baju melayu aq kaler kuning2 oren camtu lah.. agak bersilau kalu masuk musolla.. musolla aq pon dah x mcm surau ghupenye.. ala2 masjid ade lah.. besaq giler.. tatau lah pngetua expect nak gain student reramai kot.. ntahlah -__-

abes je smyg maghrib aq dah start amik al quran then amik port biase kat hujung and kat bucu kiri musolla tuh.. sbb situ buleh menyandar and pintu keluar pon dekat.. xde ah malu sgt nak kuar bile ade hal.. lagi pon kat situ view dy cantik.. boleh nampak pemandangan DEPAN and BELAKANG.. everytime and everyday after solat maghrib.. mest kne bkak tirai belakang (pemisah antara ruang solat muslimin and muslimat) sbb time nie program bace alquran.. depend lah kepada exco dakwah.. dy nak suh bace surah ape.. tapi selalunye x lari dari surah2 x pnjng lah.. sebab takut terlebih mase langgar waktu solat isyak pulak kang..

time nie.. sonok lah dak2 dari form 2 hingga form 5 dok melilau mata memandang ke arah belkang musolla.. tgk ape.. tgk ape lagi.. tgk aweks2 yg tgah khusyuk bace alquran kat blkng tu lah.. -_- ok.. dah ckop.. sampai situ je.. further information about us.. xleh gtau.. biarlah rahsia.. haa.. nak jadi cte nye.. time nie lah first time dak2 skul tu ramai knal akuh.. aduss.. feymes agih.. sbb time nie aq nak kuar follow kenkawan aku kuar jgak.. saje bajet nak g amik wuduk.. dgn x semena mena dah jadi perhatian.. ahaha..

esok tu kat skolah mcm biase.. masuk kelas yg telah ditetapkan.. tau2.. aq same kelas agih ngan si beliau.. siape?? siape agi.. si Farzana ni lah.. kelas 3Zuhud.. rupenye mmg kelas kekal sama mcm kelas tahun lepas.. ahaha.. xpelah.. lagi bagus.. xde lah nak segan sgt masuk kelas len.. then bermula lah hari bsing same mcm tahun lepas pnye kelas.. sape lagi tukang huru hara kalu bkan si "Tweety tuh"..

aq teruskan kehidupan aku mcm biase.. lagi2 nak mghadapi PMR pada tahun ni.. subject yg aq pgg dlm tgn dah kompem2 ah BM, Math, KHB, PI, GeoGraphi, and Science.. sejarah, Arab, and English x confident dapat score.. hehe.. so aq dah ade 6 A's kat situ.. amcam?? terer x?? buwekkk!! ahaha.. tapi persaingan dalam kelas aku makin hari makin sengit.. mgkin semua pelajar start to realise the important of this exam.. so let it be.. berjaya sesame.. gagal pon sesame..

tahun ni aq berjaya masuk perlawanan takraw and menang smpai peringkat daerah.. daerah je.. then kne reject sebb x power.. ahah.. same lah mcm naseb aku time kat perak dulu.. tu pon selamat dapat pergi follow peringkat kebangsaan sebb aku jadi sidang redaksi sekolah.. ahaha.. dulu siyes aku power.. and active giler dalam sukan2 nie.. tapi day by day.. makan pon kuat.. kerje pon mlas.. mane x naek Encik L kat dalam bdan.. its okay.. i need to de extra and extra.. dun worie.. and be glad..

zaman persekolahan time nie.. mmg dibenarkan pelajar utk outing tapi x leh lebih dari pukul 6.. kalu x kne denda or penalti.. so kitowng pon ape lagi.. setiap hari sabtu kompem kuar punyer.. g tibai CC murah kat Bandar Salak tuh.. then pergi nilai.. shoping2.. tu je lah keje kami.. then balik dalam pukul 4 lebih takut x sempat sampai..

pejam celik~ dah sampai waktu peperiksaan percubaan.. so sume org sibuk struggle bermati matian smpai muntah hijau.. ahah.. then mcm biase.. nak gain dana.. pngwas rakan sebaya PRS kompem wat "Request" sejenis penghataran bnde and disertakan dgn ucapan dari pemberi kepda penerima.. so time tu mmg x expect lah ade org nak bagi.. sbb time tu, kompem2 ah player yg dapat.. player nie seorang budak kelas aku name faiz.. org panggil dy jambu.. du nie mcm pendek2 sikit.. senyum ade lesung pipit.. puteh2 org nye.. buleh kate kiut jgak lah.. tapi persepsi prmpan jelah.. kalu kitowng.. anggap si jambuni mcm disaster jeh. :p then.. mcm biase lah.. kompem2 mest dy byk dapat request..

suatu hari ini.. pada hari isnin.. and peperiksaan percubaan pada hari rabu.. hari isnin tu start diedarkan "request" yg telah di beli oleh pemberi.. then berterabur lah ahli PRS singgah kelas ke kelas utk mngedarkan request tersebut.. sape dapat2.. dapat lah.. yg x dapat.. wat2 senyap dah lah.. :p then smpai giliran ahli prs smpai kelas aq.. then dy panggil.. Faiqah Farhani~ Nasiha~ Farahin~ Faiz~ Syafiq~ Hikmal~ Khairul Ikhwan~ Faiz~ then tbe2 senyap.. dah2.. yg tu jelah.. nak tak nak.. aq x dapat.. hehe.. mmg aq dah agak dah.. xpe lah.. bkan expect pon.. ;) then yg pling byk fafa.. sbb dy dapat 4.. faiz dapat 2 jeh.. ahah! then still dy wat mke macho.. haha.. abes persekolahan.. ade sorang budak PRS ni panggil aku :

PRS : weh2!!.. tunggu jap.. syahir kan?? (smbil menuding jari kearah aku)
syahir : uh?! eh2~ aah~ nape.. ade pape ke..?
 PRS : fuh! nseb bek x balik agih .. jap2..

then dy berlari masuk dlm bilik gerakan PRS the keluar semua bawak bakul then datg kearah aku

PRS : ni haa~ request ko.. ade tercicir tadi.. lupe nak suh budak antar tadi.. maaf yer..
syahir : uh~ oh.. terima kasih.. (skema gile "terima kasih")
Twetty : weh.. syahir.. gile ah.. dapat request jgak lah siot.. sape bagi.. tgk lah..
syahir : uh?? nant2 lah.. nant kat dorm aq bkak lah..

nak x nak.. dapat jgak aq request for the first time..bkan satu bkan 2 tapi tiga.. ahaha.. lagi skali aku poyo~ -__- gomenesai~ sampai kat bilik aq cek lah request2 ni.. yg first skali tertulis

"do you best for PMR and forget me not.. =) friends - Fafa"

second one :

"give it all the best.. never give up.. caiyok2!! -Dak F2"

LAst one : 

"always remember what u are in this world.. i always support you from behind and wish me luck too -Farz =)"

after i rad all those request.. i dont why.. i feel something boost me up.. my friend always cheering me up back here and have faith in me also.. lastly, tbe hari exam PMR.. mcm biase.. siap sedia kat kantin pukul 8.. sebb pukul 8.30 nak masuk dah.. pukul 9 start paper.. day by day.. aku lalui hidup aku dgn study spnjg mase.. x hiraukan org ajak main ke ape ke.. dalam kelas aq g cari master dlm subject yg aq x power.. and aq try blajar ngan member aq yg power sikit.. and they all also doing the same.. and i really love this studying situation this time.. really do love.. i finished my PMR exam and straight back going home.. for holiday.. ;) when i arrived home i checked my bag and found this letter with pink cover. disitu tertulis 

"from - Farz"(i wonder when she put it in my bag -__-)

A Man Boy - form 2

"you really do give me strength. tenkiu. thank you very very much. now i can live again."

teingat zaman dulu~ which time skolah dulu2.. ntah camne ntah aq leh jadi pngawas.. here some conversation me with Sir Din Abbas dimana sbgai guru pngawas skolah..  

me : Sir, nape sy dipilih pulak sir?

sir Din : Bukan sy yg pilih awk, tapi takdir tuhan yg memilih awk.. 

Me : erk! tapi.. sy bkan nak pon sir.. tolak buleh?? 

sir Din : lah.. xkan lah awk nak lari.. tanggungjawab kecil je nieh.. persediaan bg menghadapi masa depan kelak lagi berat tanggjawab dari ini.

Me : ada x cara len sy nak tolak??

Sir din : kami, guru2, sejak dari kamu tingkatan dua lagi kami sudah menilai tatasusila kamu.. dan kami sume bersetuju utk lantik awak..

then ntah mcm mane ntah sambungan nye.. aq pon x ingat dah.. tapi tau2.. masuk form 4 dah jadi pngwas dah.. -__- tapi time tu ntah camne ntah... jadi feymes tetibe..asalnye aq nie seorang student yg baru saje berpindah dari skolah di Bagan Datoh, Perak. dari situ aq dapat no 2 dalam kelas tingkatan satu n from kelas no1.. pndai x pndai x? (poyo-__-) xde lah.. kire buleh berbangge lah jgak dari skrg.. ntah mkan otak udang byk sgt kot sampai x leh nak score bnde yg remeh temeh.. 

ops! sori2.. back to the line.. then dapat result gempak dari skul kat perak tu then mama dicide to transfer me from there to skulah yg berdekatan dgn ampang.. mintak punye mohon punye mintak.. dapat lah skolah kat Bandar Baru Slak TInggi.. then bermula lah alam persekolahan aku..

aq knal ramai kawan yg ade kat skolah tu.. first skali aku kwn ngan abg Razi.. dy nie baik gila.. rupa ade.. pndai pon pndai.. Yg terkejutnye.. beliau merupakan Ketua Kepada asrama putera.. kire president lah tuh..thne kwn lah ngan dy.. tapi kejap je.. then aq knal ngan dak2 same form yg same kelas ngan aku..

secara x langsung nye aq masuk skolah pagi esok ke kelas yg ditetapkan.. then dapat kelas no 2.. buleh tahan lah kan.. :p then ade lah budak kelas yg ramai aku x knal.. tp yg aq tau time tu bdak pling kecoh ske kaco pmpn name dy khairul ikhwan.. name gelaran "tweetty" sbb mulut dy kecik gila.. and he also adorable.. dy je yg x mengAdorable kan diri..-__- then selain tuh pmpn pertama yg tegur aku name dy Faiqah Farhani name panggilan "Fafa".. sumpah bdak sorang nie kiut-miut.. kiut dalam sklah kalu nak dibandingkan.. memandang kan meje aku bersebelahn ngan dy then dy tegur

Fafa : "weh.. name aku fafa.. name ko syahir eh.. " 
Syahir : "uh?! aah~ mane ko tau..?"
Fafa : "biase lah.. twetty dah heboh awal2 dah.. ckap ade bdak baru name syahir masuk kelas kite.. then ni haa.. ade bdak nak knal ngan ko.. name dy farzana.. " 
then kwn sbelah dy
Farzana : "woi~ mane ade lah.. memandai je ko nie.. ko jgn layan fafa nie " (sambil mke senyum2)

then bermula kisah aku kat dalm kelas 2 Zuhud.. and hidup aku mula berubah sdikit demi sdikit.. tiap hari.. aq belajar mcm biase.. pergi kantin ramai org usha.. aduss.. please.. aku x mau feymes dlm skolah nie.. kalu buleh org x prsan pon kewujudan aku.. time tu.. aq mmg x penah terniat nak ngorat awek tu ke awek nie ke.. awek tu cun ke awek nie baik ke.. sume aq x heran.. aq mmg seorang yg fokes kepada pelajran tapi kuat main.. dats my existing nature from the beginning.. and every time end of examination.. i will be at the top 5 student in da class.. who knows?? 

tapi satu je yg aq x leh nak lari.. berAngkat angkat.. -__- time nie aku masih sekolah kat Perak.. time tu ade lah sorang kakak nie.. name dy Raihana.. aq dok usha je dy.. cantik.. mmg cantik.. mke dy licin je.. skali dy senyum.. bunga mendayu dayu berhayun.. amboih.. lebih2 tuh.. ahah! xde lah.. tapi siyes.. cantik.. then aq nak ckap ape.. just usha2 je lah dari jauh.. then member aku name faka ni.. asyik dok bermacho macho then wat bising lah ape lah.. nak gain attentionn from kakak tuh.. faka ni citer lah kat aku yg dy nak amik kak raihana ni sbgai akak angkat dy.. then aq ckap

"try lah.. ikut ko lah faka oi"

.. then suatu hari nie.. ade pmpn panggil aku kat belakng and name dy farah.. "weh.. ni surat utk ko.. ade kakak form5 bagi name dy Kak Na" aku amik sambil tersenyum..

back2 at the skolah Kat BBSt.. mcm biase.. time tu aq baru form two.. during time recess, kompem aku follow dak2 nie gi kantin.. then mule lah bergossip sana sini.. tp tthe best part is about kakak2 and abg2 form 5.. haha.. tau2 jelah bile laki2 bergossip tntang ape.. mntak tak lari dari topic tuh.. tbe2.. ade lah skumpulan akak2 form 5 turun lalu kat sidewalk nak ke kantin.. kitowng pon berhenti sejenak.. then ade lah member aq yg sorang nie.. name dy haris.. dy ckap lah..

"weh! tuh2!! akak Robek (rabiatul).. tip top doh~ putih2 merah" 

aku pun usha lah.. siot lah dak2 nie.. engatkan ape lah tadi.. tapi kak robek tu buleh tahan lah.. cun jgak.. eleh.. aq sume cun.. 

balik kelas.. aq tgk si classmate aq name farzana nie still x pg rehat lg.. time tu aq balik straight ke kelas and dak2 laki len singgah tempt lepak (toilet).. aq masuk kelas tgk dy dok sensorang.. then aq tegur lah

Syahir : "weh.. name ko farzana kan? " (sejak bile aq berani tegur pmpn-__-)
Farzana : "oh~ syahir.. uh? aah.. nape?" "ko x gi rehat ke.. wat ape??" "aq mlas ah turun, lagipun nak siapkan geograpi punye kerje kursus nie.." 
Syahir : "oh~ mmg slalu x turun lah yer.. " "uh? hm.. ntahlah.. kkdng turun lah jgak kalu xde kerje.. "

then kitowng berborak lah.. tapi rasenye kejap je.. sbb tbe2 dak2 pmpn dah balik dari rehat.. so kami pon tersenyap tbe2.. then mule lah mulut dak pmpn name nasiha ni ckap "eh.. korang 2.. dalam kelas?? oooo~~~~" then dak len pon "oooo~" aku pon.. adoi.. dah2.. wat tatau jep.. aq pndang sipi ke arah Farzana.. then dy senyum malu2.. amboih! baru form 2 dah pndai2.. ceit! 

tiap hari aku pndang cermin dan berkata 

"aq bersyukur dgn pemberian-Mu, like do i ask to be born with this face"