i nver had a chance........

aku sedih... skrang aku dalam msalah yg berat.. my family.. my friends.. my relations.. hm.. all ruins... i cant control it all.. aq skrang ilang fokus dlm blajar.. byk termenung sensorang.. x reti bahagi mase.. i almost spent my all my tyme at mosque.. try to calm my self.. whats wrong with me just now.. about family~ why.. mama n papa keep fighting day by day... papa now in a cricital situations.. papa sakit~ :( kne buatan org... sob~ sob~ papa kate dy x leh g keje.. x leh mkn. xleh minum.. just bleh solat je.. papa x cbe nak cte kat mama langsong.. tp papa keep goin to work.. sampai mama marah.. kakak aku plak wat hal.. kluar umah x balik2.. adik pmpn bwah aku tu plak.. asyik dok menangis.. kesian dy.. aku pham.. dy sedih tgk fmily yg kucar kacir ni.. mama kne pegi keje... adk bradik aq kat uma xde sape nak antar g skolah.. smpai adik aq yg bgsu tu kne g skolah jln kaki.. blik ptg.. adk pmpn aq pn same.. risaw kslamtan dyorg sme.. and aq plak asyik dok wat mslah.. sbnarnye.. aq dah dkat 8 mngu dah x balik nie.. ari mama call... mama ckap direct.. "xyah balik umah laah! adik ko dah la nak pekse.. mama nak g keje.. papa outstation~ ko xyah balik.. just mkan je duit yg mama antar.. adk2 ko x yah jage xpe.." :( and skunk masuk mnguu ke 9.. aku x taw lah camner.. aq tepon mama.. mama x jwab.. aq kne buang dari uma kew..?? sob~ sob~ ntah lah.. aritu aq call nina(adik no1 which is rapat ngan aq).. aq tepon then dy angkat.. Alhamdulillah.. aq tanye.. mama mane.. dy jwb mama ade.. tgah dok tension.. pastuh nina suh aq balik.. nina merayu.. pastu tnye sal papa.. nina jwb.. papa kat ospital.. uh.. tp nina ckap bek ko jgn g tgk.. sbb mmg x dapt tgk wat smntare waktu nie.. hm.. wat happen to my precious family huh~!!! Astaghfirullahhalazzim... isk~ isk~ but anyway.. for th 9th week im at the ostel.. im gonna be brave and face my famil this week.. and setle it all.. i must.. i had to.. um~ n skunk nie.. dingin sikit ngan gf aq.. dy mrah aq sgt.. sbb x msg dy.. dy kte aq dah len.. x mcm dulu.. "ouh dear~ i which i could tell you the truth, but the situation is difrent" aq mmg x pandai jage ati syg aq.. sory again about my bad behaviour.. tp aq hnye dapat luah kat blog nie je.. sbb xde follower... so its free for to write something that runnig in my mind and heart.. aq syg dy sgt2... aq x nak lpaskan dy.. tp tyme dy mention sal kalu rase dy ni annoying sgt.. just breakup.. uh~!? mmg aku terkejut dy ckap cam tuh~ maybe sbb dy dah sampai limit dy.. aq ni teruk betul jadi bf yg x gne.. heee~ aq trauma ah kalu sal breakup2 nie.. lagi dlm situasi family tgah berpecah belah nie.. aq buntu.. tp aq akan pastikan.. keluarge bahagia yg aq slalu doa pada tuhan akan ku usehe sampai tuhan makbulkan.. ouh.. i miss that moment.. when im with mama n papa were laughing becos of joke that i told.. i miss he moment of im punching with my along.. i love the moment i story-ing to my sis about my history.. i miss the moment we holiday at grand ma house.. i miss you all smiling.. for this second.. i feel like im gonna die without you all.. :( maybe my tyme has come.. maybe my "rezeki" not coming yet.. and i will always pray from Allah.. i'll waitin that patiently~Aminn~

- farewell my family.. my friends.. my love~

thinGs thAt She Hide~

Sweet Nightmare

Hey you, yes you, Im talkin' to you.

As you know me before, for the past 1 year and a half,
You marked me in your lil' IT brain as Athirah Ahmad Sazali.
The girl that only do what ever she desired,
And ignore those that she think that is not important to her.
Sometimes she does look so cool, her face, she always do that.
Talk crap? She will pay em' back TWICE, no, TRIPPLE.

During in the afternoon of 13th of July last year,
He wished me. Yes, Eventhough he say it with a tight face,
I fall for him. I like him. I like his way.
The Nik Muhammad Syahir way. I know, Im too straight foward.
Wierd guy, hell yeah he's my taste. I love his tight face.

From MySpace to YM. He's friendly. Nice, towards me.
I wanna tell him that I like him but nahh~ That's suicide.
I hide it, yes my feelings, almost 1 year we knew each other.
I wanted to look the best, cuz I want you to notice me.
Do you? Nobody knows. I cant talk to you. Not because Im afraid,
But it's bcuz when you're talkin' to me, my nerves, heartbeats,
all malfunction. Numb, silent. I walked away. Uh? What happened?
He talked to me! OMG! I didnt gave him a good respond.
All I did was do my Hati Kering-Face and act cool.
Oh please. You're so not cool. You're embarrasing yourself.

Here's a secret, I rarely skipped my classes cuz I wanted to see him.
Shh~ Dont tell him. That will be humiliating.
Everytime I got back from my classes, I seek for Wafa.
And told her everything. Oh everything about him.
How I like him so much. How I truely want him to be mine.
I want him. Let me have him.

I accompanied Wafa to her meetings. My first time.
After the meeting, we ate together. Yes we, him and I.
And of course our 2 other best buds.
I'll never forget that moment, I cried,
Cuz I cant tell him how I feel about him.
The pain in my chest getting worse, Im dying.

Drastic measures, I gotta tell him. And hey guess what.
He felt the same towards me.
We're finally together, after 1 whole year.
He's mine and ONLY mine.
Yes my Domo, my Gojila and my everyhing.
Now, eventhough we fight over some stupid things quite a lot,
or me keep on sulking like 24-7, we are still HAPPY.
I know that my love story is not heavenly like Adam and Hawa,
Where they fall in love at first sight and got married in Heaven, witness by all the angels that was created by our God.
That is the most romantic love story of all the love story.

My love story with him? Less romantic, more bullying.
No worries, Im getting used to it.
Babe, I'll stay with you. I wont leave you.
ily. fullstop.

Your worst nightmare,
Your funny-faced lil' Gojila

i hav many GF.. :)

im gonna introduce to you all about my life..

1st : Athirah
ni awek first aquh~

2nd : Tyra
yg ni yg second..

3rd : thirah
yg ni yg ke3.. muslimah ckit.. :P

4th : Athirah Ahmad Sazali
dy ni skunk aku pnye fiancee.. huh?! haha.. laki kat luar sane jgn kaco tawu.. sepak kang~!!

Skunk Saye dah Nak Kawin :D
p/s : a day before diijab kabul.. :P
Im hapPy wiFt my GoJila rite now.. so.. back off..

yet.. there's only HE and SHE..:">

CounTIng Day~

aih~*mengeluh.. sambil menanti hari saat dan waktu.. *patiently.. its my only minor dream.. but aq rase nak jgak fullfill.. wlau mcm mane pon.. i hav to.. fighting ouh~!! \m/ wTh exactly im saying is about my truly2 needs/dreams which is about to build a house on the tree.. woah.. amaaaaazzingg betol ko nie caien.. hell yeah~!! im goin to make it real.. just wait.. day by day passed.. aq skrang tgah mengukir masa depan.. tanpa ragu2 lagi.. with a support from family and friend.. and also with faithfullness menjadi hamba Allah yg setia.. insyaAllah.. im gonna success~ aaaaa~!!!! go caien! go caien~ ahaha.. so skunk nie.. papa pnye tanah tgah dgunakan sbgai kebun.. hm.. so about 8 or 9 years akan dtg.. hehe.. aq plak yg akan amik alih kebun tuh.. tp mama ckap nak build a dream house kat situ.. hehe.. thumbs up Ma~!! setuju2!! so tyme ade org nak bersihkan kwsan tu.. mama ckap jgn potong balak yg pling besaq tuh.. sbb anak sy x bg potong.. hehe..*thats me..:D

p/s:oh mama!! tenkie vr much.. im gonna build it..

i FeeL so DepresseD~ :

BETRAYED?!?!

nothing really HAPPEN~
but it really HAPPEN~
Feelin so upset..
feelin so regret..
nothing big deal..
but it is a big deal..
affect the feels..
affect the relations..
jealous comes around..
stupidity controls..
solve the changeup..
overcome the relation..
yet.. gonna be okay~